Well, this went easier than I thought, although I was sweating nervously during the process.
I configured the CNRI’s Handle system for use with Dspace, following the official Dspace instructions and these notes.
Requested a global handle from CNRI. Received from jeuler@cnri.reston.va.us
"Hi Wesley: Thank you for your interest in CNRI’s Handle System. You have been assigned prefix/naming authority 0.NA/2051. Your handles will be of the form 2051/hdl1. The information below shows how your prefix was configured but since this is for a DSpace implementation the administration information is not very relevant. There is more documentation on handle.net but mostly you’ll want to follow the DSpace documentation especially in regards to their HandlePlugin."
opened up ports 2641 and 8000 on Badger Started the handle server (should probably get this into a startup file, too!) And it worked! except I needed to update all the old Dspace entries that used the default fake handle 123456789
To that end, I halted dspace, ran a postgresql dump
pg_dump -c -U dspace dspace > dspace.sql
edited dspace.sql, replaced all instances of 123456789 with 2051, then reloaded database
psql -U postgres dspace < dspace.sql
So now, visit http://hdl.handle.net/2051/2184