First Day At Work Stories

In last month’s survey, we included a bonus question that asked about the funniest part of your first day at your current job. You submitted a ton of hilarious stories and here are some of our favorites.

This is worth a few minutes of your Friday.

Uhhhh, is Anyone Home?

“Being told to sit and wait for someone to get me, and waiting almost 3 hours with no one in sight.”

 

“I was the first one in the office, and nobody showed up until hours later. It was a lonely and confusing morning.”

 

“Absolutely no one introduced themselves until 3 days later.”

 

“Nobody at the job returned my emails so I showed up a day late”.

Image result for first day at work memes

First Impressions Matter

“I borrowed a pair of heels from my mom and I could not walk in them and my boss kept asking if I was okay as I got a tour of the office”.

 

“Introducing myself to the Fed-Ex man thinking he was one of my bosses”.

 

“During meet-and-greet, as I was getting to know people, I was getting lazier with asking for everyone’s names and positions, so when I get to the last person, I said, “So what do you do here?” He was the founder and CEO. I just asked the Founder of the company what he did here.”

 

Co-Workers are Like a Big (Dysfunctional) Family

“Everyone at my office was so shocked when they heard what year I was born in– one woman said, I thought people born in 1996 were still in elementary school”!

 

“When new nurses all said where they were from and listed Virginia, Maryland, and North Carolina then when it came to me I said Vermont and someone asked, Did you live on a farm”?

 

“Our operations managing team thought I was a client and came out to shake my hand then realized I was a new hire…”

 

“My coworker couldn’t think of the word for photosynthesis so she googled “what is it called when plants eat the sun”.

Nailed it!

“I couldn’t turn on my computer monitor”.

 

“Lost my ID badge already”.

 

“In the middle of training, I kicked the power switch on my computer and shut the whole thing down. I had to wait 40 minutes while it turned back on and updated before I was able to get back to the training.”

 

“Spilling coffee on everything”.

 

“Printed out three I-9s because I messed up the date then the year”.

 

“After lunch I went to get my picture taken for my badge – turns out I had pen smeared across my face for the entire day until then…”

 

“Getting locked out because I thought that the front door to the building was secured since the handle would not turn. Turns out, I just had to pull the door really hard”.

 

dog work GIF

 

Kids Do the Darnedest Things

“The child I nanny pooped on me after I thought she was done pooping and took off her diaper”.

 

“One kid pointed to the tail of a horseshoe crab in our touch tank and said “That’s its penis”.”

 

“I’m a swim coach for the summer and one of my little swimmers lost her tooth. So she handed the tooth to me and hopped in the water like nothing happened”!

Living the Dream

“Walking in and greeting people just to drop off my sister’s lunch because I’m actually still unemployed”.

 

“This summer I’m in Montana building a yurt with my mother. My first day “on the job”, I met the two literally 60 year old men I will be spending the next solid month with. (They’re living with us too!)”

 

“Yikes, if only I had a job…lol”.

My First Year Out – Telling Your Story

Here at Afterword, we like telling stories. Throughout the year we will bring you a continuing series called My First Year Out about recent graduates (including yourselves), to hopefully inspire and remind you that many UVM graduates take a variety of different paths to success in their first year out.

This week we are featuring one of our favorite check ins from last year’s class, Kristen Roche ’17, who took a chance on Portland, Oregon.

As her story demonstrates, if you network strategically and keep an open mind about what you want to do, you’ll put yourself in the position to do what you have always wanted (and learn more about yourself along the way).

Enjoy Kristen’s story!

Describe your first year out:

My first year of post-grad has been weird.

I can’t believe it’s almost been a full year since graduation. I’ve spent the past year focusing on myself and having fun trying to ‘figure it out.’ Don’t let anyone fool you, though, even if someone looks like they have it figured out…they don’t.

After graduation, I packed everything I own into my tiny car, and did the whole ‘cross-country road trip’ thing. I drove from Vermont to Oregon, to start my new life in Portland.

In my first five months here, I moved five separate times before finally signing a lease, on my own, in downtown Portland. I got a temp job working at Business Oregon, the State’s Economic Development Agency, helping with the Governor’s trade mission to Japan.

After that, I worked as a pizza delivery person for a hot sec…delivering pizzas until 5am at a very punk Portland establishment. Then I was offered a job as a Marketing Assistant for an Engineering firm.

Image result for portlandia gifs

What was your biggest challenge, and how did you overcome it?

I’m really proud of myself for getting a job that challenges me and sparks my interest.

Moving across the country with no connections and zero professional work experience proved to be quite the challenge. You always hear “it’s all about who you know” when trying to find a job, and I knew no one.

I joke around that it’s really impressive I moved to Oregon with nothing and could have easily been flipping burgers at McDonalds (nothing wrong with that) but instead found myself shaking hands with the Governor.

I overcame the struggle by reaching out to anyone and everyone that was pointed in my direction. You cannot let rejection and awkwardness inhibit you from putting yourself out there.

There’s a lot of little details you need to remember; writing thank you notes, making great first impressions, and consistently following through even if your first email gets ignored. It’s important to remember it’s not personal and that people are just busy.

It was an emotional roller coaster, and especially difficult when all of my friends and family were back on the east coast. In order to overcome any challenges, I am learning to embrace the experience and accept that life is supposed to be a little weird right now.

What did you learn from this experience?

I’ve learned that I love drinking tea, I hate Doc Martens. And no matter how hard I try I can’t paint to save my life.

In the bigger picture, I’ve learned that it is SO IMPORTANT to trust your gut and just go for it – whatever that may be. You really grow as a person and figure yourself out when you put yourself in tough situations.

What are you doing now?

Honestly, I’m thriving as I continue to use different gyms for their free-week promos. I’m learning to not spend $50 every weekend on brunch and which skincare routine works best for me.

I’m going out, making new friends and enjoying the fact that random strangers find me interesting and laugh at my dumb jokes.

Professionally, I’m a Marketing Assistant for a civil engineering firm. It’s really cool because marketing is done the same across the Architecture, Engineering, and Construction (AEC) industry, so I’ve joined a niche community, SMPS, that I believe will immensely help me to develop professionally. I’m being exposed to a variety of different projects, and I enjoy knowing little details of what’s going on around me. I’m really interested in urban development, so it’s a really good fit.

Any advice?

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Put yourself in situations that force you to develop people skills and grow your network. Use your youth and ignorance as an advantage and ask for help, because no one needs it more than a recent college grad with absolutely no experience – plus people inherently want to help.

Take risks now because even if you fail, you’re still young enough to bounce back. Plus, it’s more interesting if you have adventures to tell stories about later.


Think you might be developing your own exciting first-year out story? Know a friend who will be doing something awesome? Click the button below and refer a friend (or yourself).

Your 1 Year Grad-a-versary Gift – Class of 2017 Edition

Surprise! It’s almost been one year since your graduation and we wanted to celebrate with a gift! Yes, grad-a-versary isn’t a real word, but it is a real celebration we invented just for you.

To commemorate your one year grad-a-versary, a talented artist designed a one-of-a-kind free UVM art print for you!

But, you know us – it’s not enough just to give you an awesome print. We want to tell you the story of that print.

So, we documented the artistic process. A few weeks back we put a call out to all local Burlington artists and wanted to share the footage we captured. Enjoy the video and order your print today!

My First Year Out So Far – Kristen Roche ’17

This week we check in with your classmate Kristen Roche, who took a chance on Portland Oregon.

As her story demonstrates, if you network strategically and keep an open mind about what you want to do, you’ll put yourself in the position to do what you have always wanted (and learn more about yourself along the way).

Enjoy Kristen’s story!

Describe your first year out:

My first year of post-grad has been weird.

I can’t believe it’s almost been a full year since graduation. I’ve spent the past year focusing on myself and having fun trying to ‘figure it out.’ Don’t let anyone fool you, though, even if someone looks like they have it figured out…they don’t.

After graduation, I packed everything I own into my tiny car, and did the whole ‘cross-country road trip’ thing. I drove from Vermont to Oregon, to start my new life in Portland.

In my first five months here, I moved five separate times before finally signing a lease, on my own, in downtown Portland. I got a temp job working at Business Oregon, the State’s Economic Development Agency, helping with the Governor’s trade mission to Japan.

After that, I worked as a pizza delivery person for a hot sec…delivering pizzas until 5am at a very punk Portland establishment. Then I was offered a job as a Marketing Assistant for an Engineering firm.

Image result for portlandia gifs

What was your biggest challenge, and how did you overcome it?

I’m really proud of myself for getting a job that challenges me and sparks my interest.

Moving across the country with no connections and zero professional work experience proved to be quite the challenge. You always hear “it’s all about who you know” when trying to find a job, and I knew no one.

I joke around that it’s really impressive I moved to Oregon with nothing and could have easily been flipping burgers at McDonalds (nothing wrong with that) but instead found myself shaking hands with the Governor.

I overcame the struggle by reaching out to anyone and everyone that was pointed in my direction. You cannot let rejection and awkwardness inhibit you from putting yourself out there.

There’s a lot of little details you need to remember; writing thank you notes, making great first impressions, and consistently following through even if your first email gets ignored. It’s important to remember it’s not personal and that people are just busy.

It was an emotional roller coaster, and especially difficult when all of my friends and family were back on the east coast. In order to overcome any challenges, I am learning to embrace the experience and accept that life is supposed to be a little weird right now.

What did you learn from this experience?

I’ve learned that I love drinking tea, I hate Doc Martens. And no matter how hard I try I can’t paint to save my life.

In the bigger picture, I’ve learned that it is SO IMPORTANT to trust your gut and just go for it – whatever that may be. You really grow as a person and figure yourself out when you put yourself in tough situations.

What are you doing now?

Honestly, I’m thriving as I continue to use different gyms for their free-week promos. I’m learning to not spend $50 every weekend on brunch and which skincare routine works best for me.

I’m going out, making new friends and enjoying the fact that random strangers find me interesting and laugh at my dumb jokes.

Professionally, I’m a Marketing Assistant for a civil engineering firm. It’s really cool because marketing is done the same across the Architecture, Engineering, and Construction (AEC) industry, so I’ve joined a niche community, SMPS, that I believe will immensely help me to develop professionally. I’m being exposed to a variety of different projects, and I enjoy knowing little details of what’s going on around me. I’m really interested in urban development, so it’s a really good fit.

Any advice?

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Put yourself in situations that force you to develop people skills and grow your network. Use your youth and ignorance as an advantage and ask for help, because no one needs it more than a recent college grad with absolutely no experience – plus people inherently want to help.

Take risks now because even if you fail, you’re still young enough to bounce back. Plus, it’s more interesting if you have adventures to tell stories about later.


Want us to feature your own first-year out story? Know a friend who might want to as well? Click the button below and refer a friend (or yourself).

Get to Know Vermont Quarterly

Hey gang! With Daylight Savings around the corner, it’s still feeling a bit like winter for us north-easterners. Mother nature has decided to bless us with more snow, and lots of it.

For those of you who like to stay curled up by the fire, this might be your last stretch of cold weather (enjoy), and for others this means some excellent skiing ahead, and to that we say – stay shreddy winter bunnies!

If you are looking for some UVM entertainment in this long lasting winter, Vermont Quarterly (VQ) published a new edition and we wanted to highlight some of the features. Hopefully, it is sitting in your mailbox right now, ready to be read.

Here’s some background on your alumni magazine, a quick interview with the VQ editor, and highlights from the most recent publication.

What is VQ?

Vermont Quarterly has been around since 1905 (known back then as Alumni Notes) featuring various articles and stories focused on the university, alums, student life and much more. VQ’s goal is to keep alums like you engaged with the UVM community after you’ve parted ways.

VQ offers a broader selection of stories than here on Afterword since it covers a little bit of EVERYTHING. We highly suggest giving it a peek even if you aren’t a heavy reader, it will keep you up to date on all things UVM – plus there are a lot of great photos.

Some of you may be saying, “Vermont Quarterly? Why didn’t I get one?”

If you haven’t received the latest edition (or if it went to your parents), that means we don’t have your updated address. You can update that right here and you will be sure to get the next edition.

We had the chance to ask a couple questions to Tom Weaver, the current editor of Vermont Quarterly, for a behind the scenes look at its production.

Tom on the right with his two daughters, Arline’14 and Grace’11, both UVM alums and wife Shelia, a senior lecturer in statistics at UVM.

Why was VQ created?

Well, though I’ve been here a long time, I actually wasn’t here in 1905. I think, generally, Vermont Quarterly, the other publications before, and these sorts of communications throughout higher-education were created as a way to keep alumni connected with one another and with their alma mater. I think one of our primary goals is reminding alumni of the institution they knew and keeping them abreast and proud of the institution we have become. Many good things, we hope, would flow from that — financial support to the institution, sending alumni kids and/or their friends to UVM for school, and pride that builds our reputation by word-of-mouth.

How are the stories curated and picked?

We draw ideas from many sources — news that is generated by writers in our office, stories we see in other publications or social media, stories we’re alerted to by alumni themselves or their family, friends, or public relations folks.

Can anyone submit a story or feature?

It’s rare that someone would send us a completed story for publication. More commonly, people suggest an idea we might want to pursue. Yes, ideas are welcome and best communicated through an email to me.

Here are some story highlights from this edition of VQ. Story summaries are by the article’s author

Last summer’s fire at Torrey Hall threatened natural collections deeply ingrained in UVM history and vitally necessary to contemporary research.

Helping bring the liberal arts to the incarcerated in Vermont is the latest focus for sociologist Kathy Fox in an academic career rooted in creating positive change.

San Francisco and Burlington share a common spirit, part of the draw for the many alumni who have made their lives and careers in the City by the Bay.

Business alumni help the next generation build experience and connections through the rigors of BSAD 228, Wall Street Seminar.

If you’re interested in seeing more of what is inside this edition of VQ head over to their website.

Until next time, stay warm my friends!