Archive

Posts Tagged ‘goober’

Impossible Instructions

April 7th, 2020 No comments

DISCLAIMER: These instructions are meant to be impossible. Some are physically impossible. Some are socially improbable. Most are ridiculous.

Plant

plant a thought in your friend’s head,

take em outside

don’t forget to water

(check back for growth)

growth = gain

Stop

quit talkin shit,

thanks

Pretty Cheap 

buy happiness (check for sale prices)

or

invest in sadness today (stocks are at record lows)

Carry On

if you’re not content

with the contents

of your continent

your proper context may be in contention!

contact your local charisma contractor

(common call rates may apply)

and continue.

$99.99

be the star

of your own

infomercial 

In 

tired of giving up?

try taking down.

Taxes

email your dean

ask em why school costs so much

Taxes 2

burn something you love

(money)

Careful

don’t 

think too much

but

don’t 

think too little

Show Don’t Tell

read a book with

your eyes closed

it helps with

visualization

Taxes 3

don’t file your taxes

see what happens

Waste

don’t waste food

stop eating

it keeps you hungry

hunger = success 

Jacob Hartman

Categories: Scores Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Skip to toolbar