DISCLAIMER: These instructions are meant to be impossible. Some are physically impossible. Some are socially improbable. Most are ridiculous.
Plant
plant a thought in your friend’s head,
take em outside
don’t forget to water
(check back for growth)
growth = gain
Stop
quit talkin shit,
thanks
Pretty Cheap
buy happiness (check for sale prices)
or
invest in sadness today (stocks are at record lows)
Carry On
if you’re not content
with the contents
of your continent
your proper context may be in contention!
contact your local charisma contractor
(common call rates may apply)
and continue.
$99.99
be the star
of your own
infomercial
In
tired of giving up?
try taking down.
Taxes
email your dean
ask em why school costs so much
Taxes 2
burn something you love
(money)
Careful
don’t
think too much
but
don’t
think too little
Show Don’t Tell
read a book with
your eyes closed
it helps with
visualization
Taxes 3
don’t file your taxes
see what happens
Waste
don’t waste food
stop eating
it keeps you hungry
hunger = success
–Jacob Hartman
