DISCLAIMER: These instructions are meant to be impossible. Some are physically impossible. Some are socially improbable. Most are ridiculous.
Plant
plant a thought in your friend’s head,
take em outside
don’t forget to water
(check back for growth)
growth = gain
Stop
quit talkin shit,
thanks
Pretty Cheap
buy happiness (check for sale prices)
or
invest in sadness today (stocks are at record lows)
Carry On
if you’re not content
with the contents
of your continent
your proper context may be in contention!
contact your local charisma contractor
(common call rates may apply)
and continue.
$99.99
be the star
of your own
infomercial
In
tired of giving up?
try taking down.
Taxes
email your dean
ask em why school costs so much
Taxes 2
burn something you love
(money)
Careful
don’t
think too much
but
don’t
think too little
Show Don’t Tell
read a book with
your eyes closed
it helps with
visualization
Taxes 3
don’t file your taxes
see what happens
Waste
don’t waste food
stop eating
it keeps you hungry
hunger = success
–Jacob Hartman
Categories: Scores Tags: 3965, goober, goofy, i, made, ohyeh, onlineclass, poems, slime, slimy, wow
Slap your hand on different parts of your body
Decide which part of your body sounds best.
Climb to the top of the nearest mountain.
Throw a paper plane off of it.
See where the wind guides it.
by amanda tramposch
Get a glass
Place it and look due North
Capture the air around you
Compress it
Flip the glass over
What color is the compressed air
Change the color
Release it
Don’t forget the color
Blink twice
Clap your hands 3 distinct times and remember the noise.
Snap your fingers, twice with each hand, alternating hands.
Find a squeaky floorboard and lean on it, then if you are able, crack your knuckles or other joint.
Fill a bucket of water with dish soap and make a ton of bubbles. Listen to them pop.
Fill a balloon with air and listen to the ends flap as you let the air out.
Remember the sound your body made and compare it to the previous noises, then make one last noise with your body and try to match it with a previous sound as best you can.
Blink twice
by Carter Cameron
Take your plastic water bottle
And cut it in half.
Cut slowly.
Savor the experience.
Take the upper half
And crush it under foot.
Quickly now.
Don’t make it wait.
Fill what remains of your bottle with soil.
Plant a piece in this soil.
Now wait.
Spring 2020
by Vivian Priestly
Go to your front door.
Open it wide.
Imagine a thousand people
standing outside.
Now listen to them shuffle.
Record the sound,
and play it for a friend.
Shuffle together.
Spring 2020
