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From one first-year student to another: A note about “fitting in”

November 14th, 2013

Dear CNHS student,

It’s 10 p.m. on Thursday night and the streets are bustling with eager students looking for a downtown house party with a keg stand and an endless supply of red Solo cups. It seems everyone else on campus is either sitting on the green “lighting up” or in their room doing the same. The push to join these activities can feel overwhelming. Except that you are a CNHS student with a minimum GPA to maintain and a Biology midterm on the cell cycle in the morning. You need to study. Perhaps you simply don’t enjoy these activities and would rather spend your time elsewhere.

The pressure to drink may be strong, but the consequences – which range from embarrassment after drinking too much to spending an evening vomiting and crying over a toilet to getting a citation or worse – can be severe.

How do you resist this pressure – and still retain friends?

I struggled with this personally as a first-year student and realized a strong will was all I needed. Whenever I was faced with the choice to drink or smoke I just said no.

As simple as that may seem, it was all I ever needed to say. If my friends continued to ask me to join them, I continued to decline. Eventually we reached an agreement. I don’t judge them; they don’t judge me.

Your friends will either respect your decision or you’ll find yourself re-evaluating those friendships.

Sincerely,

A first-year CNHS student who’s been there, too

P.S. Some good sources of fun stuff to do –

  • Living Well in the Davis Center connects students who like to be healthy and active
  • Your Residence Hall Council offers lots of substance-free social events
  • UVM Bored has a great calendar and the Student Life page lists clubs and UVM athletics schedules
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