New Element in the Periodic Table

A new element called woman

A new element has to be added in the Periodic Table which is recommended by my experienced friend.

Element : Woman

Symbol : Wo

Discoverer : Adam Edenwarden

Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary from 35 – 200 kg.

Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

Surface usually covered with thin painted film

Boils at room Temperature

Freezes without any known reason

Melts if given special treatment

Bitter if incorrectly used

Sweeter under certain conditions

Found in various states, ranging from metals to common ore

Ductile if moulded properly

Yields to pressure under tender touches

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances

May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason

Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol

Most powerful money non-reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

Highly ornamental, especially in bikes and cars

Can be a great aid to relaxation

Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS:

Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy

Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

AVAILABLITY:

Available in wide different forms and varieties

Can be easily seen in all busy areas

POTENTIAL HAZARDS:

Highly dangerous except in experienced hands

Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other

!!! WARNING !!! PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGE AND MENTAL DISTRESS

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