UVM Blogs

What is B.E?

8 semesters are there

80GB syllabus

80MB we study

80KB we remember

80 Bytes we answer

BINARY marks we get,

The Degree finally we get is BE

That is Brain Empty (B.E)

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. [...]

A new element called woman A new element has to be added in the Periodic Table which is recommended by my experienced friend. Element : Woman Symbol : Wo Discoverer : Adam Edenwarden Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary from 35 – 200 kg. Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas. PHYSICAL [...]

1.Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. 2.Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills. Wife: When must I give them to him? Doctor: They are for you. 3.The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary [...]

Dear Sweetheart: I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart Your husband Joe . . . His wife replied back after some days to her husband: Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details. 1. The Milk man agreed on 2 [...]

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Howla. His father is ambitious to educate Howla. Howla goes to school in Tappa Chabutra. Its principal was educated in Urdu high school and claims that he passed tenth class! There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows: Teacher: [...]

Humor #1 Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai? jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant ho, Aur uski maa bole “HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?” Humor #2 What’s the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE – In both caseS you feel “aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta” Humor #3 Ek admi sadhu se bola, meri biwi [...]

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can [...]

Do you want to see cool and rocking dances of a cool guy from India? Go to this link…..

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dughTeycVww

have fun

~sreedhar

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more [...]

Every monkey has his day… isn’t it….

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wait for ur’s…..

Don’t laugh out louder!!!!!!!!! A young S/W Engineer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young [...]

A Really Nice One. Don’t Miss the Moral. Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. [...]

There was a contest in to write a fictional story for 500 words max which wud start with the line “On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Bangalore station” This is the award winning story !!!!! On a dark and foggy night, a small [...]

Very good piece of info………….

An alternative keyboard in Windows

In case your keyboard or some keys stop working

Microsoft provides you with an alternative way to type in using the mouse

To make this tool work, go to

Start menu

Select Run

Type in OSK

Press OK

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I [...]

Once upon a time a tortoise and a hare had an argument about who was faster . They decided to settle the argument with a race. They agreed on a route and started off the race. The hare shot ahead and ran briskly for some time. Then seeing that he was far ahead of the tortoise, [...]

Really Inspirational——Must read Difference between Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions Case 1 When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn ‘ t work at zero gravity (ink won ‘ t flow down to the writing surface). To solve this problem, it took them one decade [...]

*Interesting Comments. * *Marriages are made in heaven * , then what are made in Hell? *Ans :* the days after marriage During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse ? *He is given his last chance to run away.* I wrote ur name on the sand ………… . [...]

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops – a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. [...]

Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!” Banta: Nooo, it’s my HELLO TUNE! Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao! Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad [...]

Mummy, I want to join IBM…………………………..

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: “Look mate, don’t ever [...]

The numbers we all use (1, 2, 3, 4, etc.) are known as “arabic” numbers to distinguish them from the “Roman Numerals” (I, II, III, IV, V, VI, etc). Actually the arabs popularized these numbers but they were originally used by the early phonecian traders to count and keep track of their trading accounts. Have you [...]

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. The widow [...]

Side effects of alcohol … and remedies!!! 1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet. Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet). Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward 2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights. Cause: You’re lying on the floor. Cure: [...]

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK: 1 ) Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.” Customer : “Ok.” Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?” Customer : “No.” Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. [...]

A junior Software engineer, a senior Software engineer and their PM are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, “Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one [...]

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we [...]

Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly, now pretty old guys, 75 and 76 years old,are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do everyday. Sachin turns to Sourav and says, “Do you think there’s cricket in heaven?” Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, “;I dunno. But let’s [...]

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions. 2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient! 3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their [...]

Hope you enjoy your stay in India.