keeping at it/meeting with RN

I felt like I’ve was telling more than showing, especially in the urban teaching/education entries. For the multiage entry, I used actual notes from being in that classroom, what ? fifteen years ago? Is that possible? Today I am going to go over this piece of writing and see if I can add some color – what it smelt like, sounded like, looked like. I wish i had the photo’s here. They would say a lot. I have them. I just have to remember to add them.

The breakfast with RN was very helpful. In prep, I’d put everything I’d written in a binder. Thinking of that organization was in itself, helpful. His comment was to keep on with the stories. Tell them. The time line was a good strategy. Just keep getting them out. Try to show more than tell, and see where it takes me.

I am starting to wonder about how to dig into APEX. It was so huge in my life, and yet how can I now show its relevance. maybe the florida trip, coming up Saturday. Tying that backwards to Beth, and forwards to the perhaps promise of new work… . Present and past, all in one.

I’ve also gotten clearer as to what I’m doing as a part of my corresponding with friends. Explaining it helps. I’m exploring the intellectual roots of my present work in equity… . I’m searching out in my life story, where the interest in teaching with a social justice agenda in mind came from in my life. And there are strands of thinking that create in a way the perspective i have on this work. The first strand, of course, is what I’ve learned about my “position” as a white, privileged, male and how this has affected my understanding of what’s happened to me and even influenced what’s happened to me. The second is a strand that traces the effect of shame in my life – the alcohol stuff – and how I work to get on top of it. It is so interesting pulling them apart because they are so intertwined. My consciousness of course goes right to the stories. The stories, though, are set against this tapestry of shame and privilege.

I’ll keep at it.

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Charles Rathbone

Retired. Emeritus. Conducts a seminar on university teaching to doctoral students in the Rubenstein School of Natural Resources once a year. Board Member Vermont Interfaith Action, volunteer and advocate Burlington Bike Project, UDL consultant VSA Vermont, photographer, married, four children, five grandchildren, and one Golden Doodle. Embracing life, all of it. "Today is tomorrow's past."

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