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What have I gotten myself into!

What this means

Posted: May 22nd, 2017 by abelash

  1. I care way too much about making and keeping people happy. Otherwise, I would have been more suspicious of prices and caught this sooner.
  2. I am scatterbrained, disorganized, and shitty with details.
  3. My success in sales has not been because of an acquired skill. It has been because of my underbidding.

What I had written right before my balloon of excitement and pride utterly burst

Posted: May 22nd, 2017 by abelash

Letters to Alexis (my project manager that I finally met this week) 5/21

Before this past week, I was scared. I was really stressed out about all of the unknown problems to come, about not knowing whether or not I would be able to deal with them, and about the very real possible downward spiral of disorganization that leads to certain death.

But then, getting to know your style and enthusiasm gave me the confidence that together with whatever painter crew we end up with we can really succeed. So for this week, thank you for:

-your enthusiasm

-attention to details

-intention to learn

-your respect

-your lack of ego

You also responded appropriately to your unexpected calls-to-duty on Sunday multiple times, and made efforts to solve problems without getting me involved when you knew I was doing other important things. (Ex. you found more gas at your own house when Larry needed it.) I’d like to credit your involvement Sunday to the $1700 sell I made that morning.


The Biggest F*ing Hole You Ever Did See

Posted: May 22nd, 2017 by abelash



That’s it. I have hung myself a noose, slowly, every week for the past 2 weeks.

How did I get “divide by .68” in my head? .38!!! It’ts .38!! That means what I’ve bid as a $5,500 job is actually a $9,760 job. I have done $30,000 in revenue, Mike was involved in $16,000, so If we follow the trend from that example, the $14,000 should in fact be about $28,000. So, that puts me $14,000 in debt. For the stupidest reason ever. This is just like how I missed putting my roommate on my housing contract.

Forget skydiving, cruise, profit. All of this insane work, and I’ll be lucky if I’m not in debt by the end of it. Learning experience? Sure, talk to me in 5 years when none of it matters. But right now, I am dead.



Out of spite

Posted: May 15th, 2017 by abelash

I posted an add on Craigslist today out of frustration to see if I could find backup painters. I felt like I was looking for a secret affair, especially because I know all of my current painters personally – and then I found way too much potential. Within 6 hours I now have 7 interested painters with experience.

Of course, I don’t know how trustworthy they are, and it is sketchy to hire old people. (They are mostly 30-35 it seems). They have vehicles and lots of related experience, though! 

Maybe I’ll see where this affair goes. It doesn’t hurt to interview, right?

The future is very uncertain.

I would say “help me!” to the universe, but I did this to myself.

I hate my whole damn crew

Posted: May 15th, 2017 by abelash

I really don’t know if I can do it

Posted: May 15th, 2017 by abelash

Failure is not an option, unfortunately.

A Clash of Great Opportunities

Posted: May 9th, 2017 by abelash

Coach gave me the opportunity to go to ECACs this weekend for the 4×800 at Princeton, the largest conference in the US. I initially said that I couldn’t attend because of the work I have scheduled, but the more I thought about it the more amazing the idea sounded. I told him that I really wanted to and would consider it.

After the warm-up for our workout this morning (tempo, 500/300 at 800 pace, then 200/200 at 400 pace for some low-volume speed) though, I decided that I couldn’t even ask Mike about rescheduling our meeting for this weekend. I chose track this past weekend already. I can’t do that to him, after all that he’s done for me. I told coach no, and walked away.

Prioritize sports, school, work, friends? What space does that leave for prioritizing my sanity!?



Up High, Down Low

Posted: May 9th, 2017 by abelash

This weekend was a gift. I finally had great track performances, in both the 800 and the 4×4, got to travel with the team (my favorite group of people), all while my amazing mentor took over 4 hours of work duty for me and sold more than weekly sale’s goal asked. My branch has now hit the two baseline qualifications to start production, which begins May 25th. The two qualifications were $20,000 in sales, and 6 painters hired. Did someone say life is good?

Of course, the next day got me back into the grind, because I admitted the bad decisions I had allowed myself to make in the hiring process. How bad? 2/3 of my painters don’t have cars, two will be balancing work hours with sports the first couple of weeks, and two may not be at production training next week. I was weak and wanted to give people quick answers. I believed in my friends too much. I blatantly ignored the explicit warnings to not hire people without reliable cars. Why do I do this?! I think: sure, yea, I will be able to problem-solve when the time comes. Why, instead, don’t I prevent the problems from happening?

This is what this job will continue doing for me all throughout the summer. It won’t initially stop me from making mistakes. This one in particular – being too trusting of my workers and of my future problem-solving abilities – was even explicitly predicted when I learned about my personality with the DISC test. So, no, this job probably won’t stop me from making mistakes, but I freakin hope it teaches me that I don’t want to deal with the consequences. Maybe, the more that I mess-up, and the more I teach myself that I don’t want to deal with myself and my tendencies, and I will actually change for the better.


A Mosh Pit of Frustrating Situations, and a New Realization

Posted: April 30th, 2017 by abelash

The shit storm:

Everything in my business right now is PENDING – so today’s goals are a complete bust.

I messed up my roommate situation for next year with one stupid contract mistake.

I’m missing my friends at school and they are missing me all of these weekends, and it feels like I haven’t even been making these trips worth it because I am always behind on my business plan.

I still care too damn much about preserving my relationship with the customer, so I haven’t been closing jobs that I basically already have.

What is school right now? The expectation of an all-nighter, right before a 7am track workout.

I finally feel like I’m making progress in track but there is only one meet left.

Basically: My coach has put so much belief in me, and I haven’t performed. My mentor has put so much belief in me, and I haven’t performed. I’m lucky enough to have friends who care about me so much, and I haven’t been around. When I have been, it’s been at the expense of school. Also,I love my classes, but haven’t been able to perform my best.

I admit, these are good problems to have. I am surrounded by great people who I love, and they believe in me. I believe in myself too, and that it will come together in the future. It’s the PRESENT I am struggling with!

My sort-of-unrelated-realization

My mom keeps sending me updates from her business trip. Bangkok and Dubai have been the main destinations. She is definitely my role model, and in many ways I am, purposefully or not, following in her footsteps in life. One thing that I want to do differently, though, is that I want a team. I want to pursue a mission with a team underneath me who I can lead and inspire and struggle with.

My mom is the most capable person I know. I think she realizes this, and her work coaching leadership and reinvention shows this. However, I think her independence and ability to be a powerful one-man-band has created a very solo, albeit exciting and adventurous, lifestyle. One of my greatest desires is to actually lead an inspired team, so it’s not enough for me to manage myself. Also though, I don’t want to be alone. I want to put in effort to create structure and support for myself.


My loose point to all of this is that soon, with my painters and PM who I’ve hired, these struggles won’t be as alone. It is temporary stress that I will manage and power through.

I thank the struggles that I’ve had in the past, and the lessons in sustained optimism that sports have taught me, because they will help me through everything.


The Right Path

Posted: April 24th, 2017 by abelash

Even though I hit none of my goals this weekend – Didn’t come close to breaking 2:20 in the 800m at UAlbany, didn’t have 2 estimates set up, didn’t sell $1,600, and didn’t hire two painters – I still felt like a big-baller shot-caller.

With much help from Mike Videtta and his trustworthy painter on Saturday, my first job was completed. The customer freaked out during the job, but he was happy with the result. Collecting that final payment and wrapping up that job felt great. I have also been inspired through talking to all of the people interested in being a painter or project manager. I do not have a team in mind yet, but there are some good project manager options which I am excited about. As the summer approaches, the real-deal full-swing business venture materializes more and more in my mind, and it’s freakin’ awesome.

It is of course crazy hard fitting in everything. Track, the job, not to mention school… and maybe not falling off the face of the earth socially, because I finally have a group of friends who I fit amazingly with and don’t want to take that for granted! BUT: it is all worth it. And heck, I am enjoying the ride (the songs on those long car rides aren’t going to sing along to themselves.)

I am so grateful that I am at this beautiful school with such loving, fun, and inspired friends, that I can dedicate my mornings to loving the feeling of being alive with running, that I have parents who support me learning whatever I choose at school, and that Collegiate Entrepreneurs is showing me how to do things. It’s changing my perception of my ability and of how to work in society.

Horas! (Indonesia greeting/goodbye/expression of good health) 🙂


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